Not Real News
WASHINGTON D.C. (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— New reporting published in the Washington Post reveals President Donald J. Trump is convinced sacrificing children to the ancient Aztec Sun God, Huitzilopochtli, will burn out "the invisible enemy" to help him win re-election. Trump sensing the lights dimming on any chance for his re-election…
WASHINGTON D.C. (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— A White House source revealed President Donald J. Trump was so inspired after visiting Mount Rushmore last weekend he directed the Department of Interior to commission design plans for a sculptor to carve the rock in the Grand Canyon honoring his favorite strongmen- himself,…
Denver, COLORADO (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— Michael Cox, an Opinion writer for the Montrose Press, flexes his trump University skills to Colorado wolf reintroduction voters by cherry picking science, flashing literature, offering scripture, and quoting anti-wolf pundits as experts. In short, anything to paint this valuable apex predator as the…
WASHIGTON D.C. (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— Dr. Harold Nelson Bornstein, who was President Trump’s personal physician from 1980-2018, explains why he thinks trump’s recent racial slurs, and many more during his presidency, are not his fault, but a symptom of his 1982 diagnosis of a rare form of Tourette syndrome.…
TULSA, OKLAHOMA (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— An inside source in Heaven is reporting that GOD expects the Pearly Gates to be overrun with “Tulsa spirit wall climbers” within weeks after the trump Tulsa campaign rally, which will fill a 19,000-seat arena, all during a highly contagious pandemic. “I expect a…
WASHINGTON D.C. (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— The Washington Post is reporting ninety-two prominent wildlife biologists and ecologists have signed on to a letter sent to President-In Waiting Joe Biden recommending named current and past Trump appointed Department of Interior officials to be banned from all national parks and public lands…
WASHINGTON D.C. (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— Procter & Gamble, the manufacturer of Depend for Men Incontinence Underwear, in an email, warned Washington D.C. area retailers the company will blacklist them from future product orders if any of their stores sell President Donald J. Trump Depends’ brand for his fear-stricken, cowardly…
WASHINGTON D.C. (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— Facing nosediving polls, President Donald J. Trump has begun to focus on his inevitable fate after his one term presidency- prison. Trump's prison coach ordered additional White House fencing (prison grade), and requested Bureau of Prison guards to help the President feel the transition…
WASHINGTON D.C. (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— President Donald J. Trump, feeling the heat from the racial awakening across the country, has bunkered down in the White House basement, again, while declaring to staff he is not coming out until the FBI finds a black American citizen he can call a…
WASHINGTON D.C. (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— President Donald J. “Bunker Boy” Trump horrified Americans Monday night, who witnessed peaceful protesters violently dispersed by Park Police in order to secure “Bunker Boy’s” hastily arranged “holy workout” path through Lafayette Park, and up to St. John’s Church, where his “bible press” exercise…
