Not Real News
Boise, IDAHO (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— Idaho Republicans proudly claim the state has more anti-government, white nationalists, QAnon following Americans than any state, and who would argue after the impressive “mask burning” protest at the Capital last weekend, as a prelude to their announcement demanding the Republican state-controlled legislature to ban…
Jefferson County, WISCONSIN (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— Judge Bennett Brantmeier was honored by hound hunters at a Jefferson County private “bear stew cookout” for his surprising ruling requiring Wisconsin DNR to immediately hold a gray wolf hunt, in which at least 216 wolves, in sixty hours, were mostly chased by hounds…
Vancouver, BRITISH COLUMBIA (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— Takaya, British Columbia’s beloved lone wolf, crossed the Rainbow Bridge on March 24, 2020 after a hunter’s piercing bullet sent him to the afterlife, but his spirit now speaks. In a groundbreaking interview with renowned ecologist, Jane Goodall, conducted at the edge of heaven…
Jackson Hole, WYOMING (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— The question "Are trappers genetically the same as serial killers?" comes up in discussion of famous serial killers most heinous acts. Scientists now conclude "yes" both are "wired" (flawed) similarly. Molecular psychiatry researchers have now proven what will not surprise the average citizen, who…
Helena, MONTANA (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— Two Montana lawmakers are introducing a bill that could significantly expand the killing of gray wolves in Montana, with the goal to bring canis lupus to the brink of extinction in the state. Shockingly, “wolf child molestation” is the “why,” according to these legislators. …
Helena, MONTANA (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— Monday’s announcement by the Rocky Mountain Elk Foundation (RMEF), a leader in promoting senseless killing of gray wolves, to accept QAnon’s invitation to join forces surprised few members, and most surveyed members as well as Republican state legislators, responded that they already belong to both…
WASHINGTON D.C. (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— Hope Hicks officially left the White House this evening with a swollen forehead due to her new, and government required “T” forehead tattoo above her right eyebrow, per her agreement with the Justice Department. Ms. Hicks was the first of the close-knit Donald J. Trump…
WASHINGTON D.C. (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— Aides to a defeated President Donald J. Trump are privately expressing alarm for his addiction to the feeling of losing, and he simply cannot quit it. The soon to be former President demands more losing each day, in spite of his friends and children begging…
Jackson Hole, WYOMING (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— As more research confirms wolves are the best “first defense” to protect deer, elk, moose and caribou from the contagious neurological disease, chronic wasting disease (CWD), over hundred wildlife ecologists and epidemiologists recommend testing in Montana and Wyoming whether infecting certain public lands ranchers…
Hollywood, CALIFORNIA (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— New Line Cinema announced today the remake of their 2009 American romantic comedy film, he’s just not that into you, with the main storyline centered on a one-term loser President of the U.S. named Donald J. Trump relentlessly obsessing for attention from Lady America to…
