Not Real News
VENTURA, CA (Enviro Snowflake Brief) — An astounding news leak regarding Secretary of Interior Zinke has enraged Patagonia’s founder, Yvon-Chouinard. The anonymous leaker, with photo evidence, confirms Ryan Zinke owns and wears Patagonia winter gear when out of the public’s view.A Patagonia spokesman said, “Yvon is furious and…
WILSON, WYOMING--(Enviro SnowFlake Brief) Congresswoman Liz Cheney is back home in Wilson to focus on her pet project to rebrand Wyoming’s state slogan to “Wyoming, ForEver Dead”. “We need to change the image around our state’s positive accomplishments this year. Of course, I’m not talking about dead people…
WASHINGTON D.C. (Enviro Snowflake Brief)—In an inexplicable timing move, Secretary Zinke decided to announce this morning his nominee, Billy the EXTERMINATOR, to fill the vacancy to head the National Park Service (NPS). According to one White House staffer, “We love the celebrity pick, but Trump is livid that…
WASHINGTON D.C. (Enviro Snowflake Brief) — President Trump is calling out CNN’s Hero Series to honor the Oregon rancher father-son duo arsonists, Dwight and Steven Hammond, as “everyday people changing the world”. For perspective, Trump’s most trusted advisor, Steven Miller, is a well-known groupie of the extreme right…
WASHINGTON D.C. (Enviro Snowflake Brief) —Interior Secretary Zinke’s face was awash in a genuine smile when he first learned last week of Pruitt’s departure from the EPA gloating to reporters that no one else was even close to catching him for Most Hated Award, other than Pruitt. “I…
