Grand Junction, COLORADO (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— The controversial Acting Director for the Bureau of Land Management (BLM), William Perry Pendley, has barricaded himself inside his Grand Junction office, and he is threatening to sell off all public lands in Montana to his oil and gas friends, if BLM Law Enforcement…

CHOCOLATE FACTORY, USA (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— After years of remaining silent, Willy Wonka stepped out of the shadows of his self-exile from the public to provide indisputable photographic evidence that President Donald J. Trump was and is Willy’s original Oompa Loompa. It turns out Oompi Trumpy (Willy Wonka’s pet name)…

WASHINGTON D.C. (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— President Donald J. Trump abruptly made a midnight call to Homeland Security Director, Chad Wolf, demanding his department secure exploding trees in burning western states, in order to fortify Trump’s modest five new miles of the Southern border wall.   According to legendary Washington…

BOISE, IDAHO (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— It was revealed today Idaho Gov. Brad Little requires each candidate he considers to serve on his Fish & Game Commission to take what he named the Idaho Wildlife Pride Test (IWPT), according to a former staffer in the Governor’s office. Here are the…

Stevens County, WASHINGTON (Satire by Enviro Snowflake Brief)— Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife Director, Kelly Susewind, under unduly pressure by Stevens County cattle rancher Len McIrvin, owner of Diamond M Ranch, schemed an unethical and illegal conspiracy to silence gray wolf advocates attempting to participate in the upcoming Wolf Advocacy…

Pinedale, WYOMING (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— In a stunning reversal by the U.S. Forest Service and the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service, the federal government will terminate local rancher grazing rights in the Bridger-Teton National Forest. Patagonia is authorized to fund the Upper Green River Area as a wildlife refuge…

Sturgis, SOUTH DAKOTA (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— Charles Darwin, from the grave, is so fascinated by the enthusiasm of participants attending the massive motorcycle rally in Sturgis, South Dakota, during the Covid-19 pandemic that his spirit is joining the festival. Darwin’s spirit spoke to Terry Keszler, a Sturgis City Council member,…

Cheyenne, WYOMING (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— The Wyoming Game & Fish Commission deceitfully announced on August 3rd that it is being recognized as “the best in the west.” Director Brian Nesvik claiming the Western Association of Hunters and Wildlife Agencies named his Commission the “Commission/Board of the Year for 2020.” There…

Vancouver, BRITISH COLUMBIA (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— British Columbia officials are scrambling to explain why they killed 463 wolves this winter to protect endangered forest caribou in the face of scientific researchers at the University of Alberta concluding killing wolves wasn’t saving the caribou. Province officials are now saying, if Rob…

WASHINGTON D.C. (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— The iconic comedian George Carlin once said, “never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups,” but scientists studying the unique effects of Covid-19 have determined it is no joke. Dr. Anthony Fauci released a new study that included 75 Covid-19 patients who are…