CHOCOLATE FACTORY, USA (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— After years of remaining silent, Willy Wonka stepped out of the shadows of his self-exile from the public to provide indisputable photographic evidence that President Donald J. Trump was and is Willy’s original Oompa Loompa.
It turns out Oompi Trumpy (Willy Wonka’s pet name) is not human, but was made in the Chocolate Factory, and therefore, Oompi Trumpy does not qualify for the office of the Presidency under the constitution- being human is a requirement.
Willy Wonka’s exclusive interview with Chris Wallace, FOX News, was taped earlier this week from the Chocolate Factory, and will air tomorrow on Fox News Sunday. Wonka told Wallace after watching Oompi Trumpy’s Covid debacle for eight months,
“The suspense is terrible…I hope It’ll last.”
Chris Wallace tried to drill down deeper after Willy Wonka’s not surprisingly confusing response by asking him if he enjoyed the chaos so much, why now expose his oldest Oompa Loompa, who has become the most powerful orange being in the world.
Willy Wonka, in his signature evasive way said, “Oh, you should never, never doubt what nobody is sure about.”
Wallace did get Wonka to share his favorite memory about his Oompi Trumpy in the early days at the Chocolate Factory.
“Oompi Trumpy could never get his tongue off those snozzberries- he never met a snozzberry that didn’t taste like a snozzberry… that awkward, overgrown Oompa Loompa of mine,” chuckled Willy Wonka.
The FOX interview concluded with Willy Wonka appealing to Oompi Trumpy to “come home and leave these people alone.”
“We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams Oompi Trumpy… we need you to end this nightmare for all, and I will serve you up all the snozzberries you can fit in that large orange mouth of yours,” said Willy Wonka.
