HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA (Enviro Snowflake Brief- Not Real News)— Paramount Studios and C3 Entertainment announced today the next Three Stooges reboot, which will be a dark comedy/reality TV style film featuring real live stooges to star and to direct- exclusively shot on location in Washington’s Colville National Forest.
The roles of Larry, Moe and Curly will be played by three northeastern Washington middle school drop-outs, whose legacy to date is killing wildlife and sniffing cattle. The three real life stooges jumped off the casting couch, after erecting a baffling highway billboard, which claims wolves and mountain lions will protect families and pets. Comically, their caption was the opposite message of their intended fear mongering.
According to the film’s casting director, “The billboard masterminds were a slam-dunk to get the starring roles of the wildlife edition of the Three Stooges when we read their story in the Capital Press– in the spirit of Dumb & Dumber.”
Paramount also announced a trio of what they coined as “the three stooges of Washington cow loving policies,” to direct the film to assure pure chaos and unstoppable dark laughter for the very, very dark comedy feature film.
The trio of Washington political and state agency stooges to direct the film will be state Rep. Joel Kretz, Stevens County Commissioner, Don Dashiell, and Kelly Susewind, the head of Washington Department of Fish & Wildlife. Each are truly “stooges” for the High Plains Moochers of Washington public lands, which fits the theme of the film.
The PR firm hyping the wackiness of the film project added to ESB, “Both Paramount and C3 Productions will brand the trio of directors in marketing materials with the catchy phrase, ‘cattle butt boy’s directorial debut’ leading up to the January 2021 Sundance Film Festival premier in Park City, Utah.”
To ensure the project stays on filming schedule, a “First Alternate” Director will shadow the daily production. This will limit set interruptions when the three appointed collaborating Directors of the film are summoned for janitorial duties at Diamond M Ranch by owner, Len McIrvin.
Steve McLaughlin, a failed candidate for Washington state’s Public Lands Commissioner in 2016, is rumored to be the “First Alternate” Director for the film, since he currently is not paid by the state, and therefore, may not be under McIrvin’s hand.
The Paramount spokesperson teased reporters today, “Needless to say, the film will be a very dark comedy version of the Three Stooges with the majority of the audience jumping out of their seats hoping Larry, Moe and Curly will go off a cliff and take the Directors with them in a climactic ending.”
I can hardly wait for this one!
