DOUGLAS COUNTY, WISCONSIN (Enviro Snowflake Brief- Not Real News)— A new scientific study of Wisconsin hound hunters finds a common gene defect (results in a rare anatomy distortion called micropenis) in 98% of the Wisconsin Bear Hunting Association hounder members, who participated in the the study for food stamps.…

WASHINGTON D.C. (Enviro Snowflake Brief- Not Real News)— In a stunning move by GOD, according to the Washington Post, our Heavenly Father arranged a private meeting for NOAH and President Donald J. Trump to discuss Trump’s recent gutting of the U.S. Endangered Species Act. The meeting took place last…

OLYMPIA, WASHINGTON (Enviro Snowflake Brief- Not Real News)— Gov. Jay Inslee’s newly formed Cattle Control Board announced today the first ever U.S. “Cattle Kill Order” on public lands.  Non-lethal methods to control cattle from disturbing native wildlife are failing today, and public sentiment hit a tipping point this summer.…

STEVENS COUNTY, WASHINGTON (Enviro Snowflake Brief- Not Real News)— Eastern Washington cattle rancher, Len McIrvin, who is the face of endangered wolves being killed by the state, launched a GoFundMe campaign yesterday to raise funds to pay off his Sam’s Club Mastercard by empathetic Stevens County residents. McIrvin complains…

DENVER, Colorado (Enviro Snowflake Brief- Not Real News)— CBS News 60 MINUTES co-anchor and CNN icon, Anderson Cooper, conducted an exclusive interview with the 3-year-old black male Wyoming gray wolf, 1084M, who traversed for over a year from deadly Wyoming to the somewhat safe wolf haven today of Colorado.…

CHEYENNE, WYOMING (Enviro Snowflake Brief- Not Real News)— Wyoming Game and Fish Department’s newlyformed citizen working committee to address chronic wasting disease was surprisingly given a last minute screening test to qualify for the group by WYFG Director, Brian Nesvik, yesterday, and shockingly, more than half of the members…

WASHNGTON D.C. (Enviro Snowflake Brief- Not Real News)— The National Park Service has been asked to capture and deliver four live grizzly bears from Yellowstone National Park for a “canned hunt” as part of President Trump’s “Salute to America” celebration, according to two individuals familiar with the arrangement. According…

ATLANTA, Georgia (Enviro Snowflake Brief- Not Real News)—The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has discovered a deadly contagion outbreak in the West Wing, in which, astoundingly, President Trump is the confirmed carrier. Patients suffer physically with an invasive creeping orange hue to the hair and skin,…

VANCOUVER, British Columbia (Enviro Snowflake Brief- Not Real News)— 72% of BC voters said “yes” to a stunning new requirement for the province's wildlife trapping policies involving neck snare traps to kill wolves, and inadvertently killing other non-targeted wildlife. The dramatic new policy requires “live” human trapping testing of…

VICTORIA, British Columbia (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— According to a joint statement released by British Columbia and Alberta province officials, the real culprit driving caribou to extinction is habitat loss, but not from logging, but from the gray wolf clear-cutting critical and life-sustaining caribou habitat. The government points to Rob Serrouya,…