CANADIAN OFFICIALS CONFIRM WOLVES RESPONSIBLE FOR CLEAR- CUTTING CARIBOU HABITAT

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British Columbia officials tour caribou habitat declaring a new study proves wolves are clear-cutting forests with their teeth.

VICTORIA, British Columbia (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— According to a joint statement released by British Columbia and Alberta province officials, the real culprit driving caribou to extinction is habitat loss, but not from logging, but from the gray wolf clear-cutting critical and life-sustaining caribou habitat.

The government points to Rob Serrouya, a University of Alberta biologist, whose recent study concludes gray wolves have systematically worked in packs using only their teeth to clear-cut life-sustaining caribou habitat- yes, wolves kill trees too.  

Dr. Serrouya says, “Unfortunately, it’s that black & white. Gray wolves are forest exploiters, who will endlessly harm all wildlife species with their new clear-cutting behavior.”

The press release by officials explained that Serrouya’s study is 100% conclusive, in their mind, but the actual study will not be released to the public. The study has triggered an emergency new draft to their Mountain Caribou Recovery Strategy.

“In light of Dr. Serrouya’s conclusive evidence of the damage wolves are doing to caribou habitat, on Monday, June 3, 2019 at 6am we will begin executing our new Mountain Caribou Recovery Strategy to extirpate British Columbia-Alberta gray wolf populations in order to save our caribou,” stated the government press release.

One anonymous executive for a large logging company in Alberta told the Vancouver Sun, “This is great news for our energy development, logging, mining and high-impact recreation industries, who have been falsely accused by environmentalists as the cause to declining caribou populations. We knew gray wolves were to blame for everything!”

ESB could only get a “no comment” email reply from the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences on their knowledge of the government’s study being used to extirpate Alberta and BC’s wolves from the landscape.

For perspective, just in British Columbia, a minimum of 553 wolves have been snared, poisoned, or shot from helicopters by the government since 2015.

The question of the day by this reporter is whether the public will accept the provinces “final solution” for their native wolves, or finally wake-up?   

Michael Treehuggins

Michael Treehuggins created the Enviro Snowflake Brief to try and give laughter therapy to all his fellow frustrated conservationists in these challenging political times. Let’s laugh, cry, and vote.