WASHINGTON (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— A bill introduced by John Barrasso, R-Wyoming, proposes a $8 billion taxpayer funded program in which Trump’s Space Force will shuttle western public land ranchers to Mars.
Senator Mike Lee, R- Utah, the co-sponsor of the bill says, “Scientists have confirmed Martian soil has proven to grow tomatoes and peas so far. Although the atmosphere is 95% carbon dioxide, our Rancher Committee has designed a taxpayer funded cow space suit to address environmental obstacles.”
Senator Barrasso added, “Between subsidized ranchers and our extraction industry friends, our public lands will be stripped of resources soon, therefore, we need Mars.”
The bill has prompted plenty of outrage among environmental groups. Rhea Suh, President of the National Resources Defense Council, responded to the proposed legislation:
“Most Americans are unaware of the ‘welfare rancher business model’ that takes taxpayers for a ride funding 94% of grazing costs. Ranchers decimate our public lands killing native grasses, polluting streams, and having taxpayers fund killing native predators. We say no to expanding it to Mars.”
An angry crowd of environmentalists on the steps of the Capital chanted, “Hell no, cows can’t go!”
One protester’s sign read, “STOP COWboy MARTIANS.”
WRITER’S NOTE: Truth vs satire for today’s article: FindItHere
