MIAMI, FLORIDA (Enviro Snowflake Brief)—A group of ICU and emergency room doctors successfully raised their GoFundMe campaign goal of $5 million to fund a twelve-month “stay at home” protester cruise, which they named the Live Free or Die Cruise.
GoFundMe, the world’s largest social fundraising platform, released a statement today regarding the doctors’ campaign.
“It was the fastest ever GoFundMe to hit a goal over $1 million, and also it set a record for the number of donors, thanks to Americans in every state lining up online to contribute at such a level our site crashed twice.”
Dr. Timothy Flores, an ICU physician at Mount Sinai Hospital– New York City, explained, “We wanted to show our appreciation to that tiny percentage of Americans who bleed red, white, and blue to stand up for their personal freedoms no matter what the cost.”
“As President Trump said, ‘they are some very good people’ so we want to do our best to keep those ‘very good people’ at sea for a long, long time,” said a proud Dr. Flores.
To qualify and receive their boarding voucher, protesters only have to provide a selfie, which any good “stay at home” protester would have taken in front of their state capital building with their long rifle.
The doctor’s GoFundMe Live Free or Die Cruise, includes a SWAG bag which will be handed out to all qualified winners when boarding the cruise ship; includes a mask with holes cut out of the nose and mouth, a toy AK-47 water gun, a compilation of President Trump’s greatest hits from his rally speeches, and the new edition of Call of Duty.
The chartered Carnival Cruise Line ship departs out of Miami on May 7, which means the qualified “stay at home” protesters only have two days to pack up their bathing suits and guns to join the fun.
The chartered cruise ship workers are thrilled to get back to work, since they have been quarantined on the ship at sea for weeks- dying from boredom and coronavirus.
The American Medical Association issued a statement calling all “stay at home” protesters to make the trip, and said “it sends exactly the right message that doctors, nurses and all healthcare professionals are trying to get across: we are begging you people to get on that cruise ship.”
Dr. Anthony Fauci, Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, on “Good Morning America” was asked by George Stephanopoulos his thoughts on putting all these right-wing protesters on a cruise ship, with a potentially virus infected crew.
“Well earned, and if Charles Darwin were here, he might say, ‘Don’t worry I got this,’” Dr. Fauci said without blinking.
(ESB-NOT REAL NEWS)
