WASHINGTON D.C. (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— President Donald J. Trump disclosed last night at his nightly TV coronavirus campaign rally that Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, and Sean Hannity have been named to his new and improved Coronavirus Health Task Force, after watching their interviews on Fox News last week.
Dr. Burks and Dr. Fauci are relieved of their task force duties, but they are reassigned to assist the Acting National Security Director, Richard Grenell, to identify how the Chinese lab created the virus, and used Hunter Biden to spread the virus in the U.S.
Trump said, “Americans should know this is not his trio of health geniuses’ first rodeo. “I don’t tell you media hacks everything,” exclaimed the President. “These guys actually ran the Task Force for me in the month of February to prove to me they look as good on television as I thought. It went beautifully on OAN network with their best ratings ever.”
Trump was pressed by White House reporters on Hannity not having any medical background. “Sean, like me, just has good instincts on what to do, and, like me, he is always right.”
Dr. Oz ignited a firestorm earlier this week on his Fox News comments to accept 2-3% children deaths by opening schools now. “I realize that comment jeopardizes my reputation as an esteemed snake oil salesman, and you can be assured I will lean heavily on Hannity’s instincts to avoid another misstep, as our Coronavirus Health Task Force advices the President when and how to reopen our country.”
Trump defended Dr. Oz curtly to reporters saying, “his interview was perfect!”
Dr. Phil was also stinging a bit from his own public backlash after his comments on Fox News comparing car accident and swimming fatalities to coronavirus deaths, in an attempt to encourage opening the economy back up. “As my fellow doctor said (well, actually Phil you’re only a PHD doc), Hannity is the brains behind this task force for America, and he has much higher TV ratings than us.”
Barely containing his excitement, Sean Hannity backed up Dr. Oz and Dr. Phil on his own brilliance. “When you have the millions of 65+ age Americans, who believe anything I make up as fact night after night, well, I am the logical choice for our great President to lean on to lead his Coronavirus Health Task Force.”
For any American concerned that too much responsibility is being put on Hannity, Trump assured the American people there is a safety net of brilliance, “if Sean became ill, Rudy agrees to take over the task force.”
(ESB-NOT REAL NEWS)
