Boise, IDAHO (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— In an ironic twist, Idaho wolf killers are now complaining that as much as they appreciate state lawmakers pushing Idaho Department of Fish and Game (IDFG) to legalize killing wolf pups in their den, it has caused an unforeseen psychological condition spreading across the wolf hating community- depression, apathy, and sexual dysfunction.
“After you get in a few wolf dens and strangle some puppies then get another 6-8 pups doused with gasoline and light it, I find myself not getting the same erection I used to experience when killing wolves,” says one anonymous veteran trapper and longtime predator hunter.
Another wolf hunter explained, “I mean I love it, but it’s already kind of boring and I just don’t know what we can do to wolves next that can top it, and we are running out of wolves. I’m just so sad all the time now.”
Last Spring, Idaho lawmakers passed a bill aimed at killing the majority of the state’s wolves, which gets rid of most limits on hunting the predators. It represents the most sweeping expansion of wolf hunting in the state, and it has drawn outrage from scientists, conservationists, and even pro-hunting groups.
In short, there are no limits to how you can kill a wolf in Idaho today, and moreover, an 1800’s type of cash wolf bounty is paid through the state government and a private hunting organization.
Foundation For Wildlife Management, an Idaho based hunting organization partnering with the state to pay wolf bounties, conducted a survey across their membership of dedicated wolf killing sadists to better understand the psychological damage the insidious fun of killing wolf puppies was having on their psyche. The wolf pup killing survey results sent alarm bells across a network of trophy hunting and trapping organizations fearing the thrill of killing wolf puppies will exponentially increase “predator hunter apathy.”
The common responses from 75% of the completed wolf killer surveys was the following:
- Been there, done that, now what’s next…
- Why don’t I get an erection anymore when I legally run a wolf down on my snowmobile…
- Been there, done that, now what’s next… grizzly cubs in their den in Montana might help…
Justin Webb, Executive Director for Foundation for Wildlife Management, did respond with an email to our request for an interview. “We are aware of concerns about unfortunate psychological effects killing wolf puppies are having on our conservation minded hunters and trappers, and I am discussing it with IDFG commissioners to determine if the state should modify wolf hunting policy to protect our members.”
(ESB-NOT REAL NEWS)
