WASHINGTON D.C. (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— New reporting published in the Washington Post reveals President Donald J. Trump is convinced sacrificing children to the ancient Aztec Sun God, Huitzilopochtli, will burn out “the invisible enemy” to help him win re-election.
Trump sensing the lights dimming on any chance for his re-election now believes-hopes sacrificing children under the age of ten has some merit based on ancient Aztec beliefs.
Although his Republican politicians and his MAGA hat supporters would be fine with what he thinks, trump decided the traditional Aztec brutal sacrificial human ceremony would not go over with independent voters.
Thus, his “work around” is opening schools no matter what during a pandemic.
White House sources say Ivanka was reading the President his bedtime children book, How to Be an Aztec Warrior by Fiona Macdonald ($5.95 paperback), while he ate his midnight Big Mac & fries’ snack, to calm his nerves. When he heard about the sun god, Huitzilopochtli, waging a constant war against darkness, and how the Aztecs kept the god happy by offering human sacrifices, well, it was an “ah ha” moment.
Following a lunch meeting with Alex Jones on July 6th, Trump was confident children sacrifices to Huitzilopochtli might burn up the “invisible enemy” …make the virus “just disappear.”
“Why not give it a try- what do I have to lose,” trump told staffers.
Vice President Mike Pence vehemently defended trump on Fox News last night. “Our great President cares deeply for children after nurturing and caring for four of his own.”
Pence added, “President trump is a Christian so he would never believe in false Gods.”
However, in spite of Pence’s defense of trump to discredit the multiple sources confirming the validity of “trump’s children sacrifice offering,” the evidence mounts to the contrary.
Trump has been crystal clear and steadfast in recent days that, “schools must open up no matter what” and he repeatedly is emphasizing elementary and kindergarten is non-negotiable for delays in FL, TX, and AZ.
“A few might die, but it’s worth it for all Americans to save my presidency,” stated trump.
(ESB-NOT REAL NEWS)
