WASHINGTON D.C. (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— Vice President Mike Pence announced today that he would like to be the first clinical volunteer to participate in The Donald J. Trump Lung Cleanse Study, sponsored by Clorox, to help President Trump show Americans he is a ‘very stable genius.”
Pence, however, explained that his “lung cleanse” would only be of value to President Trump, if he became infected with Covid-19. President Trump assures him Stephen Miller will figure it out.
Pence, looking down at his phone, gazing at a “photoshopped” cover of Trump as Time Magazine “Sexiest Man Alive,” humbly told reporters, “I would do anything for our broad-shouldered great President, and Mother (Karen) knows it is God’s Plan for me to serve the Chosen One.”
President Trump sent a tweet shortly after Pence announced he hoped to be “Volunteer #1” in The Donald J. Trump Lung Cleanse Study:
“Mike Pence agreed last nite to go wear no man has gone before in serving his great President (TRUMP). We already have Mike a padded cage riht next to the monkees involved with vaczine testing! #trumployal #MAGA #TRUMP2020”
Kenneth Adelman, who served in the Reagan administration, summed up Pence’s self-sacrifice for all things Donald Trump. “I’d like my wife to look at me just for one day the way Mike Pence looks at President Trump every day they’re together.”
President Trump directed staffers, after Pence volunteered for the study, to plan a rally in Idaho later this month. The first 100 MAGA hat wearers through the doors testing positive for Covid-19 win a volunteer spot in The Donald J. Trump Lung Cleanse Study, according to the White House.
Dr. Burks was approached by a group of reporters for comment on Trump moving forward with the controversial study, but she refused to come out of hiding from under her desk.
(ESB-NOT REAL NEWS)
