BRITISH COLUMBIA OFFICIALS SWEEP THIS YEAR’S “ROTTEN WHITEBARK PINE NUT” AWARDS

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The province of B.C. is racing to save its dwindling numbers of woodland caribou by convincing the public “it’s those damn wolves.”

VICTORIA, B.C. (Enviro Snowflake Brief- Not Real News)— Rotten Whitebark Pine Nut award season is here again, and British Columbia officials are pounding their chest this morning, and rightfully so, after winning three big awards for their southern mountain caribou preservation policies.

And how deserving B.C. officials are as they persistently deflect the fact they allow industry to hack and slash the caribou habitat, and leave it devastated. Today, almost 30 of British Columbians 52 surviving caribou herds are at risk.

British Columbia’s government’s caribou solution… “kill those damn wolves.”

Brilliant!

The B.C. officials taking home the Rotten Whitebark Pine Nut trophies this year are:

Donald J. Trump “Deceit” Award– Winner, Premier John Horgan

Aldo Leopold’s “Are You an Idiot” Award– Winners, Doug Donaldson, B.C.’s Minister of Forests, Lands and Natural Resource Operations & Darcy Peel, Director, B.C. Caribou Recovery Program

The Jane Goodall “Insult to Humanity” Award– Mike Bridger, Government Wildlife Biologist   

British Columbia’s Premier, John Horgan spent the year doing the salsa between showing local First Nations his tears for the caribou nearly “winking-out,” and flipping the script on a bar stool with local logging community politicians assuring them “no worries.” A masterful performance of dodge, weave, deflect, and lie at all cost to avoid addressing or slowing his policy of industrial devastation to wildlife ecosystems. Premier Horgan put in a lot of effort to earn the “Donald J. Trump Deceit Award” this year.

Aldo Leopold, the famed ecologist, surely is turning over in his grave as he watched Minister Donaldson and Director Peel, painfully demonstrate that they never read his books. Their unscientific 1800’s Caribou Recovery Plan includes the wide-scale slaughter of wolves, and also cougars, and possibly, even moose, elk, deer and/or wild horses to be killed. It is “science on the go” intended to simply support the government’s predator management (kill) strategy no matter the overall ecological damage done.  Donaldson and Peel will now likely be multiple year winners for Leopold’s “Are You an Idiot Award.”

B.C. citizens ask… what are the details of this humane wolf killing plan- yes, an oxymoron I know. The B.C. government wolf management plan involves radio-collaring single wolves within a pack, and then using helicopters armed with a shotgun shooter to terrorize and kill the entire pack, except wait for it… leaving the radio collared wolf alive so this beautiful, sentient, family oriented being can go relive the same horror next year with their new pack- cleverly referred to as the “judas wolf” for its unknowing betrayal of its family.

The most credit for blueprinting this cruel cull goes to that Cracker Jack Box government biologist, Mike Bridger. Jane Goodall will be at the Rotten Whitebark Pine Nut ceremony to present Mikey with his well-deserved Insult to Humanity Award.

“Aerial gunning of wolves was deemed the most effective and humane way of removing all the wolves from each pack,” proudly states Mikey Bridger. You go Mikey!

After B.C. officials come off their awards’ winning high this week, perhaps they can address a statement that every independent wildlife biologist, ecologist, and high common sense concerned citizen wants to know, as articulated last week by Sadie Parr, Executive Director, Wolf Awareness, Inc.

“Is it acceptable that there has never been an environmental impact statement that assesses the impacts that killing hundreds of wolves repeatedly for years has on wolves, non-caribou species, or ecological processes?”  

Inexplicably, 550 dead wolves and counting, and three well earned Rotten Whitebark Pine Nut awards.

Michael Treehuggins

Michael Treehuggins created the Enviro Snowflake Brief to try and give laughter therapy to all his fellow frustrated conservationists in these challenging political times. Let’s laugh, cry, and vote.