WASHINGTON D.C. (Enviro Snowflake Brief- Not Real News)— In a stunning move by GOD, according to the Washington Post, our Heavenly Father arranged a private meeting for NOAH and President Donald J. Trump to discuss Trump’s recent gutting of the U.S. Endangered Species Act.
The meeting took place last Sunday at President Trump’s New Jersey golf club, which was secretly arranged by Vice President Mike Pence. According to an anonymous Pence staffer, “Pence was thrilled to prove to the world that he really does have a direct line to GOD, and he was also confident there would be nothing God, nor NOAH, could say to Trump to change his mind.”
The staffer added, “Mike knew Trump knows where he is going so GOD really has zero leverage with him- a win-win for the VP on policy and his presidential aspirations.”
GOD was unwilling to wait and depend on the courts, which has become the last best hope to protect Trump’s part of earth from President Trump’s environmental policies. A Trump staffer leaked to the Washington Post NOAH’S takeaways from the secret meeting – NOAH chiseled his thoughts on his stone tablet.
Her are the reported notes on NOAH’s stone tablet as recalled by Trump’s staffer, before it burst into dust minutes after the meeting ended.
- Did he really just ask if GOD would want to be in his Cabinet if he was human?
- He just keeps repeating that his first born son says he will get more votes gutting it and the animals can go elsewhere… how do I respond to this soulless mortal?
- He just suggested GOD give him a full head of orange hair, and he will reconsider the changes to the ESA to save species… right after he reconsiders reconsidering universal background checks for guns.
- GOD start here with the storms this time.
It is safe to assume; GOD will be less than happy with NOAH’s Trump meeting. Perhaps NOAH will be tasked to come up with a less diplomatic and more divine plan to eradicate this orange menace, who threatens most of GOD’S creatures.
