STEVENS COUNTY, WASHINGTON (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— The Seattle Times reports today another Washington state public figure, Steve McLaughlin, a failed candidate for commissioner of public lands in 2016, is now exposed as a member of the underground cult, Len McIrvin’s My Holy Cow.
An embedded source inside the cult told the Seattle Times investigative reporter, Evan Bush, that McLaughlin is always at Len’s side at cult retreats because he holds the honorable title and job as Chief Diaper Changer for the Holiest.
“The guy was a layup for Len to recruit to join My Holy Cow’s leadership because he has a Beatlemania like passion for ranchers, cowboy boots, and right-wing nutjobs,” according to the source.
McIrvin’s My Holy Cow cult was first exposed to the public by the Seattle Times last fall through their tenacious and detailed investigative report, which earned Evan Bush a 2019 Pulitzer Prize for local investigative reporting.
In essence, My Holy Cow cult is made up of ranchers, state politicians, and dangerous right-wing extremists, who worship cows, who demand public lands be for the sole purpose of grazing cows, and who legally or illegally say they plan to eradicate any Washington wildlife on public lands that might occasionally nibble on a cow.
Steve McLaughlin is a logical fit for the very private cow loving-wolf hating cult. The anonymous source for the paper says that, although McLaughlin is merely a failed political candidate, some believe within the cult that he is earning his stripes by changing Len’s daily soiled Depends, and Len could anoint him as the heir apparent “Holy Leader in Waiting” for his beloved cult.
“Steve, like Len, has a knack for theater versus facts in his speeches, which always brings his audiences to a roar. Recently, Steve was secretly recorded in one of his many speeches to a packed room of eight,” the cult insider explained.
“Any time you see a wolf looking at a camera in a picture, that wolf wants to have you for lunch. They’re going to start taking and feinting attacks on you. Taking little nips,” McLaughlin says. “Yum. Those tasty people.” Yes, those words did actually come out of McLaughlin’s mouth.
Sadly, for Mr. McLaughlin, the trance My Holy Cow’s leader has over him has cemented him to a future legacy as the wacky “Alan Jones of anti-environmentalism” in Washington state- nothing more, nothing less.
On the bright side for Steve McLaughlin, at least he can wake up tomorrow thanking the cows that he is not Rep. Matt Shea. You haven’t reached the bottom yet Steve!
