WHITE HOUSE CONTROVERSY OVER WHO PLANTED THE ORANGE FLOWERS NEAR TRUMP?

WASHINGTON D.C.(Enviro Snowflake Brief). Today, President Donald J. Trump, flanked by his top economic advisors at a photo session in the Oval Office, wanted to make the news of the day about the quarter’s economic report. Unfortunately, as the AP photograph demonstrates, POTUS’s orange head, matching perfectly with…

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The Magnificent 7 Wyoming Fish & Game Commisioners
DECEASED TOBACCO INDUSTRY LEADERS ANNOUNCE FUTURE HONORARY LUNCHEON IN HELL FOR MONSANTO EXECUTIVES

CENTER CITY, Hell (Enviro Snowflake Brief). News came out of Hell last night that plans are underway by deceased tobacco industry leaders to host a future luncheon for today's Monsanto agriculture chemical executives. The spokesman for the planning committee in Hell, Helmut Wakeham, the deceased Head of Research…

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1948 cigarette advertisement featuring Ronald Reagan.
IDAHO GOVERNOR SIGNS EXECUTIVE ORDER TO BAN CONSERVATIONIST ALDO LEOPOLD’S BOOK, “A SAND COUNTY ALMANAC”

BOISE, Idaho (Enviro Snowflake Brief). Three-time elected Governor Gov. C.L. "Butch" Otter is doing his part to suppress Idaho’s future generations of the conservation movement to protect the state’s wild places and predators. In a bold move, the Governor has ceased all school and public library copies of…

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Idaho Governor Otter signs book ban order.
WHAT SECRET BUSINESS MEETING DID PENCE ATTEND DURING TRUMP’S HELSINKI DEBACLE?

WASHINGTON D.C. (Enviro Snowflake Brief) ­— Vice President Mike Pence has reportedly returned from Oregon after helping “Mother” ink a partnership to expand nationally the only remaining Blockbuster store located in Bend, Oregon. A VP staffer close to the family confirmed the partnership Lucas Oil founder, Forrest Lucas,…

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Blockbuster store in Bend, Oregon
PATAGONIA FOUNDER CASTING A NET TO STOP ZINKE’S WINTER WARDROBE

VENTURA, CA (Enviro Snowflake Brief) ­— An astounding news leak regarding Secretary of Interior Zinke has enraged Patagonia’s founder, Yvon-Chouinard. The anonymous leaker, with photo evidence, confirms Ryan Zinke owns and wears Patagonia winter gear when out of the public’s view.A Patagonia spokesman said, “Yvon is furious and…

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Founder of Patagonia, Yvon Chouinard
TRUMP DEMANDS CNN TO FEATURE PARDONED ARSONIST RANCHERS ON CNN “HEROES”

WASHINGTON D.C. (Enviro Snowflake Brief) ­— President Trump is calling out CNN’s Hero Series to honor the Oregon rancher father-son duo arsonists, Dwight and Steven Hammond, as “everyday people changing the world”. For perspective, Trump’s most trusted advisor, Steven Miller, is a well-known groupie of the extreme right…

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