Not Real News
SALT LAKE CITY, Utah (Enviro Snowflake Brief). Senator Mike Lee strutted in front of the cameras on the steps of the Romanesque city hall building on Monday to announce what he feels will be part of his legacy to Utah. “Less than an hour ago I gained a commitment…
WASHINGTON D.C.(Enviro Snowflake Brief). Today, President Donald J. Trump, flanked by his top economic advisors at a photo session in the Oval Office, wanted to make the news of the day about the quarter’s economic report. Unfortunately, as the AP photograph demonstrates, POTUS’s orange head, matching perfectly with…
CENTER CITY, Hell (Enviro Snowflake Brief). News came out of Hell last night that plans are underway by deceased tobacco industry leaders to host a future luncheon for today's Monsanto agriculture chemical executives. The spokesman for the planning committee in Hell, Helmut Wakeham, the deceased Head of Research…
BOISE, Idaho (Enviro Snowflake Brief). Three-time elected Governor Gov. C.L. "Butch" Otter is doing his part to suppress Idaho’s future generations of the conservation movement to protect the state’s wild places and predators. In a bold move, the Governor has ceased all school and public library copies of…
WASHINGTON D.C. (Enviro Snowflake Brief) — In an interview with Fox News’ Sean Hannity last night, First Lady, Melania Trump, was contrite in blaming herself for the President’s media perceived failed performance with Vladimir Putin. Prior to the President’s historic meeting, she felt the damage was done in Ireland…
WASHINGTON D.C. (Enviro Snowflake Brief) — Vice President Mike Pence has reportedly returned from Oregon after helping “Mother” ink a partnership to expand nationally the only remaining Blockbuster store located in Bend, Oregon. A VP staffer close to the family confirmed the partnership Lucas Oil founder, Forrest Lucas,…
VENTURA, CA (Enviro Snowflake Brief) — An astounding news leak regarding Secretary of Interior Zinke has enraged Patagonia’s founder, Yvon-Chouinard. The anonymous leaker, with photo evidence, confirms Ryan Zinke owns and wears Patagonia winter gear when out of the public’s view.A Patagonia spokesman said, “Yvon is furious and…
WILSON, WYOMING--(Enviro SnowFlake Brief) Congresswoman Liz Cheney is back home in Wilson to focus on her pet project to rebrand Wyoming’s state slogan to “Wyoming, ForEver Dead”. “We need to change the image around our state’s positive accomplishments this year. Of course, I’m not talking about dead people…
WASHINGTON D.C. (Enviro Snowflake Brief)—In an inexplicable timing move, Secretary Zinke decided to announce this morning his nominee, Billy the EXTERMINATOR, to fill the vacancy to head the National Park Service (NPS). According to one White House staffer, “We love the celebrity pick, but Trump is livid that…
WASHINGTON D.C. (Enviro Snowflake Brief) — President Trump is calling out CNN’s Hero Series to honor the Oregon rancher father-son duo arsonists, Dwight and Steven Hammond, as “everyday people changing the world”. For perspective, Trump’s most trusted advisor, Steven Miller, is a well-known groupie of the extreme right…
