Not Real News
BOISE, IDAHO (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— Governor Brad Little announced a state of emergency for Idaho after a report by a hunter in the LoLo National Forest claiming he spotted one gray wolf (alive). New legislation signed by Governor Little in May allows professional hunters and trappers to use helicopters, snowmobiles,…
Boise, IDAHO (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— In an ironic twist, Idaho wolf killers are now complaining that as much as they appreciate state lawmakers pushing Idaho Department of Fish and Game (IDFG) to legalize killing wolf pups in their den, it has caused an unforeseen psychological condition spreading across the wolf hating…
Boise, IDAHO (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— A leadership group representing public lands ranchers held a news conference in downtown Boise today to announce they petitioned the USFWS to designate themselves, not their cows and sheep, as a Distinct Population Segment (DPS), and therefore, need Endangered Species protections. An anonymous source inside…
Helena, MONTANA (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— The unlikeable Greg Gianforte, Governor of Montana, will receive a much harsher punishment for illegally trapping and shooting a Yellowstone National Park wolf than only an innocuous written warning, which was first framed as a “teaching moment” by wildlife officials. Gov. Gianforte, although visibly beyond…
WASHINGTON D.C. (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— The Chair of the Republican National Conference (RNC) Ronna McDaniel, says “Washington’s elite, socialist Democrats designed and executed a voter suppression scheme with the intent to spike the mortality rate of the Republican hardcore voter base in swing states. How you say? “It’s a…
Helena, MONTANA (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— Little Red Riding Hood and Three Little Pigs are cautionary tales about left wing, socialist wolves, according to Montana State Senator Bob Brown, who now claims “these books confirm wolves are a dangerous threat to democracy and traditional American family values.” Sen. Brown, of…
Boise, IDAHO (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— Idaho Republicans proudly claim the state has more anti-government, white nationalists, QAnon following Americans than any state, and who would argue after the impressive “mask burning” protest at the Capital last weekend, as a prelude to their announcement demanding the Republican state-controlled legislature to ban…
Jefferson County, WISCONSIN (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— Judge Bennett Brantmeier was honored by hound hunters at a Jefferson County private “bear stew cookout” for his surprising ruling requiring Wisconsin DNR to immediately hold a gray wolf hunt, in which at least 216 wolves, in sixty hours, were mostly chased by hounds…
Vancouver, BRITISH COLUMBIA (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— Takaya, British Columbia’s beloved lone wolf, crossed the Rainbow Bridge on March 24, 2020 after a hunter’s piercing bullet sent him to the afterlife, but his spirit now speaks. In a groundbreaking interview with renowned ecologist, Jane Goodall, conducted at the edge of heaven…
Jackson Hole, WYOMING (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— The question "Are trappers genetically the same as serial killers?" comes up in discussion of famous serial killers most heinous acts. Scientists now conclude "yes" both are "wired" (flawed) similarly. Molecular psychiatry researchers have now proven what will not surprise the average citizen, who…
