WASHINGTON D.C. (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— Facing nosediving polls, President Donald J. Trump has begun to focus on his inevitable fate after his one term presidency- prison.
Trump’s prison coach ordered additional White House fencing (prison grade), and requested Bureau of Prison guards to help the President feel the transition to his new residence in 2021.
“Prison is tough and most felons have no idea what to expect,” says Trump’s prison coach, Larry Levine, who spent 10 years in federal prison, and now helps future white-collar inmates prepare for time behind bars.
An anonymous Trump aid said, “Coach is tough on the President. He has the prison guards come into the West Wing during Fox News prime time shows and unplug Trump’s TV and tell him ‘lights out inmate #45’.”
Adds the White House staffer, “The effect of having his Fox News friends interrupted has put the President in an extraordinarily bad mood these days obsessing on his small hands, but he trusts Coach Levine will have him ready for his unavoidable lock-up after his presidential term ends.”
Coach Levine explains that in some ways prison will be an easier transition for Trump than many of his highly intelligent, morally challenged clients.
“In the real world for most of my clients, there’s order and rational thinking. In the Bureau of Prisons there’s absolutely no rational thinking,” said Levine.
“Trump has never had a rational thought, so it will help him.”
Coach Levine says if Trump can show people respect in prison and doesn’t get caught up in drama, in other words, fly under the radar, then he might avoid some of the worst shower horror stories from prison.”
“That will be a tall order for Trump to keep his mouth shut, so he may end up with it filled with more than his boastful words,” ominously stated Trump’s prison coach.
(ESB-NOT REAL NEWS)
