FORT COLLINS, COLORADO (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— The first human to test positive for chronic wasting disease (CWD), a contagious neurological disease affecting deer, elk and moose, was confirmed today in Fort Collins.
Greg Walcher, a retired executive director of Colorado’s Department of Natural Resources, is “patient zero” for CWD transmitted to a human.
Walcher’s bizarre, outlandish claims about wolves in the media in recent months caught CWD researcher’s attention. The team of experts from the Center for Infectious Disease Research and Policy (CIDRAP) at the University of Minnesota, and the Prion Research Center at Colorado State University, read Walcher’s twisted editorial on wolves and coronavirus and the team immediately dispatched a helicopter to take him to their testing lab.
“His symptoms demonstrate the damage to a human brain from this virulent neurological attack unleashed by chronic wasting disease that our models predicted, said Michael T. Osterholm, Director of CIDRAP.
Professor Osterholm added, “These abnormal prions will attack the cerebrum part of the human brain that controls critical thinking, and will progressively fight off facts for myths, and absorb myths as facts, while these vicious prions simultaneously will take over the temporal lobe causing an irrational, emotional rage toward all cervid natural predators, for example, wolves- it’s complicated.”
Dr. Anthony Fauci, the Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, spoke out today on the first CWD human case and the potential hot cluster in Colorado.
“99% of the population will not contract CWD, but if you are a middle aged white male in Colorado, typically overweight, hunts and eats deer, moose, and elk, wears camo clothes to Walmart and Red Lobster, thinks wolves will “decimate elk herds in Colorado; and most importantly, believes every word out of Greg Walcher’s mouth about wolves, then please get tested for CWD immediately,” pleaded Dr. Fauci.
For any of the potential CWD infected humans reading this article, please repeat the following fact below 100 times a day, or until your disease has advanced too far to matter.
THE SCIENCE COMMUNITY IS IN 100% AGREEMENT THE CANINE CORONAVIRUS THAT IS FOUND IN DOGS AND WOLVES IS ENTIREY UNRELATED TO THE CURRENT HUMAN COVID-19 OUTBREAK.
(ESB-NOT REAL NEWS)
