HELENA, MONTANA (Enviro Snowflake Brief)— On Tuesday, the Montana Secretary of State’s office announced the FWP Officials NOT Grizzlies Paintball Initiative collected over 140,000 valid voter signatures — earns a place on the 2020 ballot.
If this highly unusual Initiative passes with voters in November, the measure will require named Montana Fish, Wildlife & Parks officials, along with named elected officials, to appear the fourth Sunday of every month at a designated site as paintball targets for youth citizens (12 to 18) chosen via a lottery process.
Most importantly, bundled in the Initiative with the requirement MT FWP officials take their monthly paint bullets, the measure will disallow any grizzly from being relocated or euthanized for depredating livestock on public lands in Montana by state officials.
The named officials, under the measure, must take monthly paintball shots or be fired from their taxpayer jobs. However, the positive for these officials is if MT FWP recants their recent policy to allow landowners to haze grizzlies with paintball guns, then the monthly paintball “beaning” Initiative will only require them to take their “beaning” through June, 2020.
John Grizwald, Executive Director for FWP Officials NOT Grizzlies Paintball Initiative, spoke confidently of the measure being approved this fall. “The more citizens listened and understood how Montana officials, in spite of endangered species protection, have deserted Yellowstone grizzlies in favor of the small percentage of Montanans in the ranching industry, the madder they seem to get.”
Grizwald speculated, “The monthly paintball ‘beaning’ session will be a bit more painful to these guys than what the grizzlies will feel from any landowner paint guns- not enough hair on our body to soften the sting.”
“However, I hear Congressman Greg Gianforte has as much hair on his back as a griz so maybe physically he will hold back those stinging tears, but the humiliation might get’um flowing,” Grizwald added with a smile.
Grizwald distributed a handout to the media listing the official rules for the FWP Officials NOT Grizzlies Paintball Initiative, which does appear to leverage the humiliation factor. Rule #2 on the sheet, “The required participants will be given an XXL Adult Diaper to wear into the staging area- no other clothing is permitted.”
A voter from Gardner, Montana said, “The constant flow of disingenuous MT FWP grizzly polices have nothing to do with protecting grizzlies and everything to do with dodging the ESA in order to appease welfare ranchers.”
His well-spoken fourteen-year-old daughter added, “That new paintball policy shooting grizzlies was a little too sneaky stupid to let go, so let’s give them a ‘beaning’ and stop all the griz killing for good.”
