OLYMPIA, WASHINGTON (Enviro Snowflake Brief- Not Real News)— Gov. Jay Inslee’s newly formed Cattle Control Board announced today the first ever U.S. “Cattle Kill Order” on public lands.
Non-lethal methods to control cattle from disturbing native wildlife are failing today, and public sentiment hit a tipping point this summer. Gov. Inslee, the environmental Presidential candidate, explained, “I have run out of excuses to continue to protect my past big rancher donors.”
Last month, Gov. Inslee succumbed to public pressure announcing the formation of the first of its kind, Cattle Control Board (CCB). It is composed of twelve highly respected Governor appointed members- independent wildlife biologists, wildlife advocacy leaders, non-consumptive recreation citizen enthusiasts, along with one retired rancher, who is now a vegan.
CCB met last weekend for a solid thirty minutes, and concluded if ranchers ever hope to regain any social tolerance for their cows in the state, it will start by the CCB authorizing lethal action on cattle in grazing allotments in the Profanity Peak national forest area.
Hank Seipp, Executive Director, Western Wildlife Conservation, and Chairman of the Cattle Control Board, says, “it is a necessary first step to build social tolerance for the public to tolerate cattle to remain within the state on at least private lands.”
Hank added, “We want to be fair to ranchers, even to Len McIrvin, who is responsible for 85% of all our endangered wolves killed in previous years due to his nefarious influence on the state’s wildlife management policies. Thus, we let Len know WDFW will hold off the Wildlife Services’ helicopters for 48 hours to give Diamond M Ranch an opportunity to remove as many of their invasive cattle from the defined public lands’ cow kill zones.”
Rancher McIrvin says, “I already maxed out my Sam’s MasterCard for paid Carnival cruises for Kretz (State Rep. of the 7th District) and Susewind (WDFW x-Director) before they were charged, along with me, on fake bribery charges. Golly gee I don’t know how to stop this public movement against our sentient sweet cattle at this point.” (ESB article on McIrvin Carnival cruise bribery)
Erik Molvar, Executive Director for Western Watersheds Project, which is a leading Org across the western states to promote removing cattle from public lands, was clearly encouraged by Washington’s actions as he offered some coaching to ranchers across the West.
“In light of this new reality, the ranching industry smartest move going forward might be to start policing their own – from the Bundy crowd to the wildlife killers – and prove that they can coexist with native wildlife and healthy lands.”
Rep. Joel Kretz was reached for comment via email from his low security prison, but only responded with his repeated claims since his arrest, “I didn’t know it was illegal for Len to give me all those Carnival cruises… I was scared to death of wolves eating my children… I can’t believe it is prison policy to shave my moustache.”
