VENTURA, CA (Enviro Snowflake Brief) — An astounding news leak regarding Secretary of Interior Zinke has enraged Patagonia’s founder, Yvon-Chouinard. The anonymous leaker, with photo evidence, confirms Ryan Zinke owns and wears Patagonia winter gear when out of the public’s view.
A Patagonia spokesman said, “Yvon is furious and is looking into suing for slander of our brand if Zinke is seen in public with it.”
The brands’ founder told CNN, “I’m going to sue him.”
Patagonia’s legal premise for the suit, according to Rose Marcario, Patagonia’s President, “relies on the idea that if ISIS soldiers were photographed with our logo gear it would cause fatal harm to our brand image and this is no different accept we can stop it,” explains Ms. Marcario.
A staffer for Secretary Zinke says Ryan is in denial mode with Patagonia but continues to be proud to lead the Trump administration’s exploitation of our public lands for fossil fuel development and cattle grazing.
“I believe Secretary Zinke hopes Yvon will cool down and he can finally wear his favorite jacket on public land fracking site visits,” the staffer added.
As we were going to press, a Patagonia source revealed the Zinke leaker was disgraced x-EPA head, Scott Pruitt, who apparently traded the information to Patagonia for a $100 gift card.
